About Stuart Duncan

My name is Stuart Duncan, creator of http://www.stuartduncan.name. My oldest son (Cameron) has Autism while my younger son (Tyler) does not. I am a work from home web developer with a background in radio. I do my very best to stay educated and do what ever is necessary to ensure my children have the tools they need to thrive. I share my stories and experiences in an effort to further grow and strengthen the online Autism community and to promote Autism Understanding and Acceptance.
Author Archive | Stuart Duncan

The Source of my Inspiration

By on September 7, 2010 in Autism

Spending most of my time online, I find a lot of people that are very good with words and are able to inspire and motivate people simply with the words they say. Some are just random people on twitter or facebook, others, like Temple Grandin, are reaching us through film, news or other means that being a celebrity can bring you.

While I do enjoy reading the posts or watching the videos, I find that they don’t inspire me anywhere near as much as my own children do.

I think that most of us take reading and writing for granted, and just assume that our children can do it and so we practice with them. But when you really think about it, how difficult is that really? Especially with limited motor skills, much less understanding of language?

That’s just one subject, think of ALL the things being bombarded on children to learn… and sure, we help them as best we can, but it’s a lot! And most of the time, we go through the motions with them without usually giving much thought into just how hard it must be for them.

Then you throw something like Autism on top of all the other problems… you see your child sad because they have no friends, they get frustrated easily because none of what you’re teaching makes much sense, they feel overwhelmed very easily, they have even less motor skills than what you expect they should at their age… and yet, despite the difficulty and despite the odds, they keep trying.

My son has done his first 5 days of his second year at school and has yet to get a single thinking chair or time out. He’s been doing well at learning how to read 3 letter words and can write his name. He even does addition and subtraction on numbers under 10! He has been verbal for less than half of his life and here he is overcoming so much… I think about it and wonder… would I keep trying as hard as he does?

Yes, I find all people with Autism to be amazing, yes I do constantly find myself impressed with the amount of support that parents give each other and yes, motivational and inspirational people move me with their words… but the real source of my inspiration, the ones that truly makes me believe that you can do anything…. are my children.

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How do you feel about seclusion versus inclusion schools or programs?

By on September 3, 2010 in Autism

There’s been some debate over whether or not a child with Autism is better off in a classroom with other Autistic children or if they’re better off in a classroom of NT (NeuroTypical) children… the obvious answer is, why not both?

I guess I am just spoiled (or my son is) in that his school will offer an hour or two of ‘integration’ time where my son gets to join a class of children his age where the ‘normal’ children are. He tends to sit quietly to himself, I could only imagine how difficult it would be when I think back to my childhood, but it is a good experience for him. Even if all he does is observe, it’s educational. If it didn’t benefit him, I could simply tell them to stop and they would. It’s great when a school listens to the parents!

The problem is that not everyone has a school that is that flexible. Most schools don’t even have a mix where you get that option. You’re either in with other Autistics or you’re not and that’s that. If that’s the case, you’re left having to choose.

My advice to you, as it is with every parent of every child in every situation, stop expecting someone else to do what you need them to do. If your child is in a classroom with only Autistic children, then take the time (make the time if you have to) and get your child out to a park or play centre as much as you possibly can and give them that hour or two ‘integration’ time yourself.

As parents, we stretch our time pretty thin but you know what? If you had an expert at time management step in and help you out, you’d find that you have a lot more time available to you than you think. And even if you don’t, make it! This is your child we’re talking about and no one anywhere ever will give your child everything they need no matter how much you want it.

I had to sell my house and lose just about everything to find this school for him. So no, I’m not spoiled. I deserve it, my son deserves it and we did what we had to do to get it. And when he gets home, we still go to visit family and friends, parks, the beach and other places he enjoys so he can play with more children.

If your child is secluded and you don’t like it? It’s your fault. If your child is included and you don’t like it? It’s your fault. If you can raise such a loud voice as to shake the foundations of the town in which you live because you’re so outraged that they’re not doing what your child needs… why can’t you put that energy into doing something about it yourself?

Your child is not second best and so you shouldn’t settle for second best. You and your child need those schools and programs but you know what? They’re not there to do everything for you.

Get involved in making the changes required and more importantly, get involved with your child. Make the time if there is none. Because in the end, years later, if things don’t turn out how you wanted, there will be no one to blame but yourself.

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Touch Sensory Issues For Autism or Crashing

By on August 31, 2010 in Autism

Most people that have even the slightest awareness of Autism or what it is, knows that many that have Autism have a tendency to hit themselves… sometimes even hurt themselves.

I’ve come to know it as the term ‘Crashing’ and this term encompasses a lot more than just hitting oneself, it also includes bouncing against the mattress (hard), tapping another person on the head often, climbing under the bedsheets or very heavy blanket(s), finding some way to squeeze themselves tightly, pushing off against something repeatedly… and so on and so forth.

For many parents, it can be so bad and so violent that they must resort to medications such as Ritalin to get them to stop or at least calm down enough to not hurt themselves or do damage to something.

For a lot of other parents though, it can often be mild enough that you can do something about it. In my case, my son Cameron does do a wide variety of the things I’ve listed but never really hurts anyone nor himself. What we’ve found is that the best approach is to take the same approach you would use on any other child… give them an outlet.

In Cameron’s case, we showed him how he can get his mattress off his bed, and onto the floor… where he can bounce on it and even sometimes goes completely under it so that the weight can squish him quite nicely. We’ve also become accustomed to the nightly bath routine such that him crawling under the sheets, onto the bare mattress won’t leave either too dirty… although we realize that the mattress isn’t the cleanest place to begin with. I’m toying with the idea of double sheets…  for him to get in between… just have to convince my wife to do more laundry.

Anyway, we have a rocking recliner in the living room, where he’s taken to sitting in it and pushing off something with his feet. Sometimes that ‘something’ includes his little brother. I have to keep on top of him but he recognizes that pushing off against the wall with his feet is not only ok but it works better since it doesn’t move when you push it.

Lycra is a miracle fabric that comes in a few product lines already including very tight and stretchable bed sheets (which is a great way to give them that ‘crashing’ feeling while sleeping) and as a body bag. I hate that name, but anyway… it’s a bag that has a velcro top to it and your child gets in it and can stretch out and push any which way.

Basically what it boils down to is finding something else to hit or push or squeeze. Teach your child to take out frustrations or desires for pressure in other ways. And keep in mind that it’s not a perfect science, Cameron still pushes off the rocking chair using his little brother sometimes but for the most part, he almost always uses other ways to heavy things on him, to bounce on or against things and stuff to hit.

Remember, touch (feeling) is just as much a sensory input as sights, sounds, smells and tastes. Smelling something over and over again, passing things back and forth in front of their eyes, putting things in their mouth that they shouldn’t or not putting food in their mouth that they should… these are all common with sensory processing problems.

Find a way to satisfy your child’s need to do these things in a different way than what they’ve been doing thus far. If you can find a way that feels better to them, they may just switch!

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The Atkins Diet for Autism? SCD And Me

By on August 30, 2010 in Autism

If you’ve had any involvement with the DAN program, you’ve probably heard about this diet but if you haven’t, there’s a good chance that you have not. It’s not as widely known as the GF/CF diet and is not as widely tried.

The reason for that is that it’s a very difficult diet to stick to, especially for a growing child and it’s also a very expensive diet.  It’s basically like the GF/CF diet on steroids… only without the steroids.

The SCD diet (or Specific Carbohydrate Diet) basically means taking out all starches and complex sugars from your diet (on top of Gluten and Casein!!!). I’m not going to get into specifics, you can read about it here if you wish… but I will tell you this, my wife and I are really struggling with this.

We have several reasons for having issues with this diet and I thought I’d share some with you:

1. Financial: We simply can not afford to be getting goat’s milk and other stuff that this diet restricts you too. It’s not in huge demand, it is extra healthy for you, it’s processed differently… in the end, it costs more. A one litre (yes, I’m Canadian) of goat’s milk costs the same as a 2 litre of soy milk.

2. Nutrition: Yes these restrictive diets are better for you, but better for you does not always mean ‘healthier’ for you. When you are dealing with an Autistic child that already will not eat meat, only eats 2 kinds of vegetables, no fruits… well, you get the idea. How do you take him off the rice pasta, rice and potatoes that he will eat?? What’s left?? Yes, I know some of diet experts will have alternatives but I can tell you right now that those alternatives leave him lacking in some vitamins, minerals and proteins that he should be getting in his regular diet. He’s skinny enough already.

3. Routine: Because we didn’t know about this diet before hand, we went with what we did know which was moving him to Soy milk, rice pasta and some other foods and drinks that he’s come to not only love, but depend on as part of his regular routine. Oh, and what child doesn’t love candy?  So when you have a child that only eats starches and candy and Soy milk… to move him to the SCD diet means a complete and total change to his diet and his routine. If you’ve tried such a thing with a child that has Autism, I can feel you cringing as you read.

4. Initials: I refuse to eat from a diet that has the same initials as me. Yes, my middle name starts with a C.

So what is the final verdict? Well, we’d like to try it, for the sake of trying it.. but we simply can’t. Not right now. Maybe not ever.

However, if you have tried it and hated it, liked it, still do it or quit… I’d love to hear from you. And if you haven’t tried it, well, I’d love to hear from you too. What are your thoughts?

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The Dad Life

By on August 28, 2010 in General

Not really anything to do with Autism but I thought this was hilarious…  and you know, it’s funny… cause it’s true!

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