The boy who couldn’t say “good-bye”

People tend to have a lot of questions about “feelings” when the topic of Autism comes up, the most obvious topics covered are the temper tantrums, the lack of eye contact and the refusal to hug or show love.

The questions range from the simple “why” to the more absurd “do they even feel love?”

Cameron is a very special boy who’s overcoming the odds, going from mild-severe Autism to… well, many people question if he was ever Autistic in the first place. However, he still is extremely reluctant to hug anyone, kisses are even more rare, temper tantrums still get the best of him…  in short, he still has Autism. But he’s doing so well.

One thing that has remained constant and I suspect always will for the rest of his days, is that he absolutely refuses to say “good-bye” to someone when it’s someone he loves and someone he knows he won’t see again for a while.

If he knows he might see you in a day or two, or if you’re just some random person, he might say it… more than likely you’ll get a “thank you” or a quick “bye!” to get him out of there.

But if you’re someone he knows, someone he cares about… there’s a very good chance that he won’t even want to be in the same room with you. And it’s not because he’s mad, or sad, or scared. And it’s not because he doesn’t feel it.

It’s because it hurts too much. It’s because he feels it all too well, on a scale you and I will likely never even imagine. He doesn’t say “good-bye” because he can’t say “good-bye”.

I have yet to hear him say it to someone and mean it… to someone he cares about. I doubt I ever will.

Do they feel love even thought they don’t hug you, or kiss you, or look you in the eye? In my opinion, if you were to put the amount of love Cameron feels into a scale and the amount of love you feel into a scale… an observer would be more inclined to ask you that question instead of him.

And you know what? Those that know Cameron, they get it. And they know they’ll never hear him say “good-bye” and they are just fine with it.