Tag Archives | brother

A wish for his autistic brother

By on August 16, 2014 in Autism
Tyler

Tyler

I would like to introduce you to Tyler. He is currently 6 years old and is as smart as he is adorable. He has an amazing sense of humour and is very clever. He’s also very clumsy, often spilling stuff but feels terrible about it and is quick to clean up and make it right with a warm hug.

Recently, a woman asked little Tyler what he would ask for if he had 3 wishes.

Now, you would expect that little boys would want all the candy in the world, or all the toys they could dream of or unlimited video game time. That’s what we want for children to wish for, right? That’s the kind of stuff that should be on the mind of a little boy. That’s the kind of thing that we like to think that all kids have to worry about… how to get more of what they like.

So what was Tyler’s first wish?

Tyler wished that his brother Cameron did not have autism.

This is the reality for siblings of children with autism. Children want their family members to be the best that they can be. Big brothers, moms, dads… they are the real superheros. And to a 6 year old little boy, they shouldn’t have anything wrong with them. And to a 6 year old little boy, who loves his brother so very much… Cameron has something wrong with him. Autism.

In the autism community, if an adult said that, many would be outraged. There’s nothing wrong with Cameron and to want his autism to be gone would be to want Cameron to no longer be Cameron.

For a 6 year old little boy though, who loses time with his brother because he’s off stimming or because they fight because Cameron obsesses too much or lacks the proper communication skills, or because he can feel his own 6 year old intellect slowly surpassing his big brother’s 9 year old intellect… his number one wish in all the world, more than games or candy, is that Cameron didn’t have autism.

What did you wish for when you were 6 years old? Was it for toys? Candy?

I don’t think he realizes it yet but there’s some small part of him that is becoming more and more aware… his big brother is going to depend on him.

As time goes on, I know Tyler will continue to love him and accept him and be happy that his big brother is just the way he is, but I also know that there will always be a 6 year old little boy deep inside him who’s only wish is that his big brother didn’t have autism.

What were his other wishes?

That I would cook dinner faster and that the wall in his bedroom had nothing on it. Phew, still a 6 year old after all 🙂

Comments { 3 }

Autism can’t stop my son from being a great big brother

By on September 9, 2011 in Autism

This year, my younger son Tyler (3yrs old) started JK… his first time in school. He’s so very excited for it because he’s watched his older brother, Cameron (6yrs old), go off to school for 2 years now.

And even though Tyler is still only 3, he’s more than ready. He can count pretty high, knows his alphabet, goes to the bathroom on his own and most of all… he’s just so crafty. He loves to paint and build things… school is so perfect for him.

Still though, even when it goes perfectly for the most willing of children, school can be overwhelming for the first little while.

Still bragging about this school

Cameron

Cameron - Big Brother

I’ve written many many times about how I picked up my family and moved over 850km away to get Cameron into this school because of their amazing Autism classes… this year, Cameron is back for his 3rd year (grade 1 this year!) and he gets the same teacher, the same teachers assistants and some of the same classmates.

A couple of children have gone off to IBI or to another classroom but his familiar friends are still there. Cameron is doing exceptionally well thanks to this.

There is another added benefit though, which I have not discussed, because we had not yet reached that point but this year is the year… his little brother gets to attend the same school!

It’s a normal, run of the mill public school but they have 4 special classrooms especially designed and equipped for children with Autism.

This means that while Cameron is in his class of 4 children (including him), with 1 teacher and 2 aides…. Tyler, his little brother, is across the hall!

Overcome Autism? No problem with the right motivation

Cameron has never had a huge problem with hugs or showing his feelings but then again, it’s not as natural for him as it would be for most other children either though.

Trying to get that out of him where he’s not quite as comfortable is even tougher… like say, at school.

But that doesn’t stop him when Tyler needs him!! Oh no.

Tyler knows that his big brother is across the hall and when the anxiety gets too much for him, he knows to ask his teacher… so his teacher takes his hand, walks him across the hall, Cameron stops what he is doing, gives his little brother a big hug and tells him that he’s ok… and Tyler goes right back to his class, feeling so much better.

This is huge!

Cameron told me that he remembers when he first went to school… for the first 6 months or so, he had a very hard time because he “didn’t feel safe.” I told him that sometimes, Tyler might feel that way too but mom and dad can’t be there to help him.

Cameron stepped up to the task in a huge way and is genuinely eager, excited and willing to help out his little brother. He wants be the big brother that Tyler needs.

Not a surprise to those that know him

Tyler

Tyler - Ready for his first day!

While I am excited about this, I’m not surprised.. and I’m sure those that know Cameron won’t be surprised by this either.

Still though, as a parent, I’m still so very proud. Also, if you’re a parent of a child with Autism, I’m sure you can understand that even though I’m not surprised, I’m still… well, I wasn’t going to believe it until I saw it.

Cameron amazes me every day, as does his little brother, but I still put no expectations on him before hand. He won’t disappoint me if he doesn’t do it, he won’t surprise me if he does do it… but it’s never necessary because sometimes, he just doesn’t do what some might expect of him.

And while it doesn’t surprise me, what does get me is that he’s so willing to stop what he’s doing… to break routine… to show affection right there in front of everyone… and to know and understand what his little brother is feeling.

In that moment, when his brother needs him most.. he is not autistic. There is no Autism. There are no teachers. There are no parents.

There is only Tyler. His little brother. And he loves him.

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The Amazing Race to Understand Autism

By on July 28, 2011 in Autism

This post is dedicated to a young man, who’s Eagle Scout project is to not only raise awareness but to give people a very unique perspective into Autism that will go a long way to their understanding and acceptance.

Justin is 14 and his older brother Gregory, 17, has Autism… the kind of Autism that makes it difficult for him to tie his shoes or speak.

Justin had the idea to have an Amazing Race style fundraiser where, not only do you race, but you also complete tasks designed to make you struggle as though you had motor skill issues, language impairments and so forth… so that you can better understand what it’s like for his brother and others with Autism.

The only downside I can see to this is that it’s local to Sammamish, WA… which means that only a certain number of people will likely be able to get involved. The reality is though that this really needs to become a national project… much like Autism Speak’s “Walk for Autism.”

I am quite impressed with the local media for not only picking this up but giving Justin and his family good quality time to explain it. That’s really very decent of them. You can view the news clip here: http://www.king5.com/new-day-northwest/The-Amazing-Race-to-Understand-Autism-126210108.html

All of the proceeds will go to Autism Speaks.

If you are in WA, or willing to get there for this event on August 13, you can visit his website to register at http://raceforautism.wordpress.com

Even if you can’t get there, let’s show this boy and his family some support for such a wonderful idea.

 amazingredbluelogo

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My little brother has autism

By on July 18, 2011 in Autism

After my last video, some people asked for a video from a child’s point of view. I thought about it from the point of view of Cameron’s brother and what he might say… this is the result.

I hope you like it:

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