Tag Archives | father

A bit of fatherly advice

By on March 20, 2012 in Parenting

father-childEvery parent’s wish is for their children to have a better life than they did… whether rich, poor, big family or small… we only want our children to get the most out of life, and to do so better than we did before them.

Not everyone has the same advice on how to do that and sometimes we down right disagree with others, that’s fine.

So today, I am writing this for my two boys, Cameron and Tyler:

1. Risks

Through out my life, I’ve had a lot of my ideas pushed aside by family and friends that told me that they’d be too risky to try. Take the safe job, make the safe choice, don’t speak up for yourself or you might lose something…  avoid risk!!

If I could go back, I’d tell myself not to listen to any of them.

Sure, some of those ideas were really bad ideas. Maybe some would have failed. Maybe even all of them.

Maybe some would have succeeded too though.

Either way, it doesn’t matter… because right now, I wouldn’t be regretting having not tried. To at least try means that today, right now, I’d have gained the experience that comes with trying. I’d be one step closer to knowing what things didn’t work which would mean that I’d be one step closer to knowing what will work.

Maybe I’d have really really liked one of those things. Sometimes you never know you love something until you try it. Perhaps I’d have loved one of those things so much that the risk would have been worth doing it… and worth doing it again and again.

2. See things through

For all the things I didn’t try, there were still things that I did try… things that required less risk, or no risk at all. The problem with those things was that I’d never see them through.

I’d start something and lose interest, get distracted by life or simply be unable to finish due to my own short comings. What does that mean? It means I didn’t push myself hard enough to know how or to be able to finish what I started.

It is far worse to never finish than it is to fail and end with valuable experience.

3. Embrace the critics, ignore the haters

There is a very big difference between a critic and a hater.

Haters will do their best to tempt you into an argument or to spark your anger. Their jabs have no substance except to incite emotion.

A critic, on the other hand, may be harsh at times, but will offer real observations and sometimes even advice for moving beyond what is revealed in those observations. A critic doesn’t care if you take their criticism or not; or if you get mad or not. They do not speak to anger. They speak to offer criticism. Listen to them. Learn from them.

Critics are the voice of your failures and failures are the experience you take with you when you do something better next time.

4. No one was ever able to stand out by blending in

If there is one thing that school pounds into you, it’s to blend in. Do what everyone else is doing and they might accept you, be different and they will likely laugh or even bully you.

I’m going to tell you a secret that you might not believe until later… school doesn’t matter. The kids at school don’t matter. What you learn at school doesn’t matter. Trying to fit in with all of that will only result in one thing… you won’t matter either.

Be different. Be proud. Stand up and stand out and do it so well that people take notice.

When you think about all of the greatest people in the world, think about what they do to be the greatest. Do they try to do what everyone else is doing or do they try to be different?

Don’t worry about better or worse. Because you will be worse. But you will also be better. That isn’t what it’s important. It’s not always the best that stand out. It’s not always the best that are remembered.

Just be who you are and don’t ever let anyone tell you that you need to blend in. You do not need to blend in. Not in school. Not ever.

5. Don’t let fear stop you

Dads aren’t supposed to be afraid of anything, but we are. We’re afraid of a lot of things. Sometimes the same things that you’re afraid of. The only difference is that it doesn’t let it stop us, or at least, it shouldn’t. But even dads are human.

I’ve let my fear stop me a lot of times. Remember #1? Risks? That’s what I’m talking about. When a risk seems too big, like I might lose a lot… I let my fear get the better of me and I didn’t even try.

There’s nothing wrong with being afraid of the risk. There’s nothing wrong in being afraid of anything. But don’t ever let that fear be what stops you.

Let me put it another way, maybe you’re thinking of doing something really big but the risk in doing it isn’t worth the reward. That’s fine. Don’t do it. You’re smart. That’s entirely different than not doing something because you’re afraid.

There were some things that I was smart to walk away from. Then there were also things I walked away from simply because I was afraid… that’s not smart.

6. Go for what you want

Figure out what you want. Figure out how to get it. And do it. No matter who says not to. No matter what the risks are. No matter how afraid you are. No matter who might be looking and thinking you’re strange for wanting it.

Do it. Do it for me. Do it for yourself.

You’re already a better person than I am. You have a much better life waiting for you than what I had. You just have to step up and do it.

From Dad

I am writing this for both of my sons, Cameron and Tyler.  It doesn’t matter that one has autism and one does not. This advice applies equally.

No two lives are the same, no two journeys are the same. That’s how it is supposed to be, with or without autism.

Do these things that I could not and you will be happy, I will be happy too.

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Autism Study of The Month: Older Fathers Face Greater Risk of Having Child With Autism

By on August 30, 2011 in Autism Study of the Month

dna

Increased de novo copy number variants in the offspring of older males

Source: http://www.nature.com/tp/journal/v1/n8/pdf/tp201130a.pdf

Abstract

The offspring of older fathers have an increased risk of neurodevelopmental disorders, such as schizophrenia and autism. In light of the evidence implicating copy number variants (CNVs) with schizophrenia and autism, we used a mouse model to explore the hypothesis that the offspring of older males have an increased risk of de novo CNVs. C57BL/6J sires that were 3- and 12–16-months old were mated with 3-month-old dams to create control offspring and offspring of old sires, respectively. Applying genome-wide microarray screening technology, 7 distinct CNVs were identified in a set of 12 offspring and their parents. Competitive quantitative PCR confirmed these CNVs in the original set and also established their frequency in an independent set of 77 offspring and their parents. On the basis of the combined samples, six de novo CNVs were detected in the offspring of older sires, whereas none were detected in the control group. Two of the CNVs were associated with behavioral and/or neuroanatomical phenotypic features. One of the de novo CNVs involvedAuts2 (autism susceptibility candidate 2), and other CNVs included genes linked to schizophrenia, autism and brain development. This is the first experimental demonstration that the offspring of older males have an increased risk of de novo CNVs. Our results support the hypothesis that the offspring of older fathers have an increased risk of neurodevelopmental disorders such as schizophrenia and autism by generation of de novo CNVs in the male germline.

Translation

To begin with, “de novo” is latin, it means new, or “in the beginning”.

Also, CNVs or “Copy Number Variants” refers to the strands of DNA, the stuff that makes us us.  Sometimes there are “variants” which puts things out of sync, thus adding to “anomalies” or “errors” in our genetic code. Sometimes something is copied when it shouldn’t be, or is missing when it should be there.

So to translate “de novo copy number variants“, what they are talking about is new anomalies in a person’s DNA.

Traditionally, DNA is largely inherited from the parents.. a person will inherit eye color, hair color, skin color and more from their parents. This is present in the DNA.

However, there is also new elements to the DNA which is not inherited… these are “de novo“.

Ok so now that we know that, to continue, this article is discussing the likelihood that Autism could occur despite the family history showing no signs of Autism in the past.

To accomplish this, they took mice of varying ages, 3 months and 12-16 months and compared their offspring.

They found that there were 7 different CNVs among the offspring where it was already present in previous generations, meaning it was inherited.

However, they also found 6 new CNVs among the offspring that had older parents… and 0 new CNVs among the parents of the younger mice.

This would indicate that brand new CNVs can arise if the father is older… creating a new line of Autistic family future possibilities.

My opinion

This is simply my opinion of the story, stop reading if you do not want opinions and are happy just having read the details of the original study itself.

First of all, these are mice. Mice do not have Autism. However, one can’t dismiss the findings especially in light of other recent findings in genetics and DNA, in terms of Autism.

If true, this could help to explain why a child could have Autism despite being unable to find any history of it in the family tree.

Not all CNVs are harmful which means that while there could have been differences, and sometimes those differences are associated with Autism or even Schizophrenia, there’s no evidence that those differences would definitively cause Autism. Some may, some may not.

Like most studies, while they did find some CNVs in some mice, not all of the offspring showed these results. Meaning that just because you’re an older father, there’s no reason to think that your child will definitely be born with Autism.

 

“Autism Study of the Month”
The purpose of the Autism Study of the Month series is to provide unpolluted (by the media) information about the studies released at least once a month in the study of possible Autism causes or risks.
You will find links to the actual studies, get to read the “abstract” of the study and, when possible, get the PR release from the source.
When it comes to science, let’s leave the media out of it.

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A father’s day poem, from father to son

By on June 17, 2011 in Autism

CameronNot puzzle, nor piece within
My son is bone and blood and skin
Though he cannot stand the light
In him his brilliance shines so bright
He is himself, so rare, so true
Unlike others yet mirror too
In him I see, I could not before
A new spectrum of life, a new way to soar
He showed me a difference, a new way to see
He taught me acceptance, a new way to be
The son became the father, this lesson I have learned
For he taught me that compassion need never to be earned
And on his birth, my life of fatherhood began
But as he lives and as I grow, I learn to be a man
For who I am and all I know, is reflected through a prism
He wouldn’t be, or I you see, were it not for his autism.

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