Tag Archives | parent

This one is for the dads

By on June 17, 2012 in Parenting

daddy saddleHere’s to the dads that don’t mind changing diapers, doing the feedings, getting up at night, running the errands, cleaning up the messes and all the other baby things.

Here’s to the dads that have no problem pitching in with dishes, laundry or other chores around the house.

Here’s to the dads that don’t make their wives attend all of their children’s appointments/meetings/events/etc on her own. No matter what their schedule, they make the time.

Here’s to the dads that get up early with their children, miss out on week-ends with friends, don’t get to travel like they used to and may not get out to the sporting events that they once did… and though they miss some of the freedoms of the past, they wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Here’s to the dads that see mostly moms doing the talking online and at conventions and decide to get involved too.

Here’s to the dads that are stay at home parents while their wives work. Despite what society may or may not think, they deserve every bit as much recognition as stay at home mother’s do.

Here’s to the dads that understand that having a special needs child may mean giving up on the dreams that they had for their child but that their child’s future is going to be wonderful and amazing anyhow and will encourage, nurture and support them every step of the way.

Here’s to the dads that are single parents, despite the fact that history and tradition have not prepared them at all and tells them that they can’t do it.

Here’s to the dads that will play with dolls, roll in the dirt, talk on toy phones and do anything else their child needs them to do… even in public.

Here’s to the dads that can work 3 jobs at a time when they have to, to provide for their family, and still manage to find time for family too.

Here’s to the dads who stuck around when all they could think about was leaving.

Becoming a father and being a dad are two different things.

Here’s to you… the friend, role model, strongest person in the world, the vanquisher of monsters, the guy who slips their kid a dollar or a treat even when mom says no… you’re the man of the house and with that you deserve more than just a day.

You’re a dad. It’s who you are.

Here’s to you. For being you.

Happy Father’s Day.

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This one is for the moms

By on May 12, 2012 in Parenting

to the momsHere’s to the moms…  with your messy houses, dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, toys everywhere, late nights and early mornings… you deserve far more than a day and far more than a thank you.

Here’s to the moms… you don’t need to be called “warrior moms” any more than a lion would need to be called a “lion cat”, you have stood up to school boards, governments, insurance companies, bullies, nosy neighbors, stereotypes, judgments, assumptions and everything else that the world could throw at you and while not every battle is a victory, there has never been defeat.

Here’s to the moms… you sacrifice, sometimes literally, everything for your child, you think that lack of sleep or social life is a minor frustration in the grand scheme of things, you will go without food before your child ever does, you would literally take a bullet for your child if necessary.

Here’s to the moms… your child is perfect no matter how anyone else in the world may see them, gifted or not, special needs or not. Your child is as important to you as any other child is to their mother. Your child is your world, your child is beautiful.

Here’s to the moms… your day does not belong to a 9 to 5 schedule, you don’t get 2 weeks of vacation each year, you don’t have a cushy retirement to look forward to for your work, you know that being a parent, God willing, is for life… and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Here’s to the moms… you don’t need to be praised but you also don’t need to be advised… you don’t need to be accepted but you don’t need to be judged… you don’t need people out of your life but you don’t need people in your business, you don’t “need” anything but you welcome a kind hand when offered.

Here’s to the moms… you know that being a mom is more than just being a “biological mother”, it’s far more than just giving birth.

Here’s to you… a human being, doing your best with what you have. Living life as both a guardian and a friend, a teacher and a student. Not doing what you do because you have to but because it is what you do.

You’re a mom. It’s who you are.

Here’s to you. For being you.

Happy Mother’s Day.

 

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Lesson Learned: Always Have a Parent Present

By on June 9, 2010 in Autism

Shortly after getting Cameron diagnosed, we quickly found ourselves in a world of waiting as programs and services were all under funded and over filled. Because speech was our biggest priority, we bit the bullet and forked out the $150/hour it took to get our son in for speech therapy right away… the condition was that my wife, his mother, was able to sit in for each session to not only be a part of it but to learn what methods to continue reinforcing once our son was home.

After a little while and some good progress, the free speech therapy program was available to us which, at the time, was very welcoming since we really were in no position to afford $150/hour. So we quickly shifted him into the new program where we quickly realized that not all therapists are created equal.

This lady would give Cameron a toy and a task to perform with it, if Cameron wouldn’t or couldn’t do it, she would take his hand and force him to do it. Now, I would have thought that lesson #1 with Autistic children would be to know better than to even make contact, much less hold them and position them in such a way. This sort of manipulation did not sit well with Cameron and he got quite upset.

Then, once the task was performed, she demanded that Cameron put the toy away immediately after. He had just started to use this new wonderful toy and was now being told, and then forced to put it back.

This kind of hand holding and give and take process with the toys was very counter productive and would ultimately set him back several weeks. Rather than learning how to speak, he was learning how to regress… to shy away back into his shell further.

Luckily my wife is very hands on, she stays home with him full time and was able to be there to witness this. After discussing it together, we felt that we had no choice but to speak up and insist that my wife be in the room during these therapy sessions… and that most of all, that some things are made clear, and changed.

I’m sure you can tell by my tone that we expected a struggle in getting this to happen but no, they were very receptive and even though they suggested that she not be in the room, they allowed it, and they changed how they approached our son.

We saw immediate results and Cameron did very well, so long as she never grabbed him by the hand and she gave him ample time to explore and discover the toys he was given.

The lesson we learned was that you can not just hand over your child to anyone, no matter how well trained, how well paid or how highly recommended they may be… ultimately no one knows your own child as well as you do and what they think will work for most children might not work for yours.

Since then, we’ve been to several other programs and are even getting started with some programs now and the first thing we tell them is that we insist that his mother be there during the sessions. If they truly want what is best for our son, then they won’t deny us.

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