Tag Archives | Special Needs

What the r-word means until it means something to you

By on March 7, 2012 in Special Needs

To those who do not understand what the problem is with the “r-word”:

The r-word…  retard. It’s a funny little slang word that can be used to describe so many things, situations….  people. It’s a word that’s causally thrown around, used without thinking about it…  it doesn’t really mean anything.

Right?

Perhaps, if you do not have anyone in your family that has a disability or special need… it really doesn’t mean much to you. And so you don’t get it. Why do people make such a big deal about it? Why do so many people get so upset about a word that you don’t even give a second thought to?

Well, let’s fast forward a few years, actually, a lot of years and let’s say you’re now approaching your 80’s. You have children, grand children and loved ones beyond that. And then you have a stroke and in an instant… a large portion of your brain function is no longer available to you. You’re still smart, you still remember everything, you still love everyone… but now you struggle to say the things you’re thinking, you struggle to use your hands with precision…. you simply… struggle.

How would it feel if your children started calling you a retard? Your grandchildren? Ok, maybe not directly, but let’s put it this way…

One day you try to pick up a glass of water, it slips and crashes to the floor. A short while later in the day, you grandchild goes to pick up their plate, drops it and it smashes to the floor. Out of frustration, that grandchild says to themself: “Ugh, I’m such a retard sometimes!”

Ouch.

Perhaps that’s too far off, let’s put yourself a little closer to your present self as say… 20 years off from now, where you’re now a working and capable adult and your child has just been born into the world of limitless possibilities and wonder.

And then the doctor informs you that there have been complications. It’s nothing you did, it’s nothing they did… it’s just one of those things, right?

Something strange happens from that point on, where you begin to see your child as a determined fighter, a winner, an against all odds victor over anything that the world can throw at them and you love them so much more for it. It wasn’t one complication… it was a life long complication that has only made you and your child stronger.

Over time, you start to realize that the strange thing that I referred to earlier is actually that your perception is no longer that of your friends….

Where they still see a disability, you see strength.
Where they see failure, you see success.
Where they see retard… you see your child.

One day you try to get your child into a nice school in the neighborhood but they turn you away. They can’t accommodate your child and your child’s needs. Another parent is getting their child into the same school and asks why “that other parent and kid were turned away?”, the administrator tells them that your child has special needs and can’t be accepted. The kid, thinking you can’t hear, says “he wants to bring his disabled kid to this school? That’s retarded.”

Ouch.

The world hasn’t changed, you have. Now, instead of not giving that word a second thought… you do give it a second, third and fourth thought as it hurts you to the core.

It now means more to you than you ever thought it could… more than you ever thought it should.

And you speak up, and those kids don’t get you… they don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal about a word that they’ve never given a second thought and in that instant, you see yourself in those kids. You see what you were missing.

So perhaps it doesn’t matter right now, perhaps it’s just a funny silly little word… but some day it will hurt. It will hurt a lot.

Whether it’s you, your child, grand child, cousin…  friend… it doesn’t matter. One day you’ll hear someone use that word and it will hit close to home and it will bother you. It will bother you a lot.

It’s not a funny silly little word. It’s a stereotype. It’s a label. It’s a knife in the heart. And not to a stranger… to someone close to you, maybe even yourself.

You didn’t even give it a second thought.

Click the image below to learn even more and to get involved… let’s help people to understand what it really means when you use the r-word.

end the r-word

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Dear HP, I have a proposal for you

By on September 2, 2011 in Autism

I have an idea for HP and their TouchPads, but first…

First, a bit of back story

HP-Touchpad-TabletRecently, HP found that their sales of the TouchPad tablet were less than satisfactory and decided to scrap the whole project. Not just the tablets, but their entire computer making efforts… computers, tablets.. the works. To prove their point, they dropped the price of the TouchPad from $399 to just $99 to get them out of the stores.

Not only did they go out of the stores, they left burning trails behind them (you know, because they left so fast). People scrambled like mad to get themselves some discount technology.

As a result of that, plus, some rumours of a need to use up remaining inventory and parts and such… HP announced just a couple weeks later that they’d make some more TouchPads for sale in the last part of this year.

My Proposition

One would assume that HP is going to be selling these for $399, or at the very least, higher than $99. They can’t possibly be intending to run all this manufacturing to churn out tablets that will make less money than it costs to make.

If that’s true, and keep in mind, I have no background in business or marketing or anything but, wouldn’t that be some really bad business thinking? To take a tablet that couldn’t sell, drop the price insanely low so that the people that did want one got it… and then to put more out there right back at the same price that they were before and didn’t sell?

My idea is this… donate them to special needs programs/schools. Or at the very least, sell it to them at a great discount.

Did you know that Apple used to market their computers to schools? They even donated (and still do) old computers that were used or no longer current to schools that could use them.

Not only is it great for public image, not only is it great for the company (donations are always beneficial) but when you think about it, how brilliant is it?

Well, think about all of those students using those machines for several years… when they need something similar at home, what are they going to use? When they graduate and need to use a computer.. what will they want to use?

Granted, that’s not really the focus for HP since WebOS probably won’t be around much longer nor will HP’s computer/tablet devices. But still, the idea is sound.

Special Needs schools, teachers and students need your help

Special needs schools have very little funding… certainly less than colleges. There is simply never enough money to get all of the supplies they need, sometimes they even can’t take as many children as they’d like.

And if there’s anything we’ve learned since the release of the iPad, special needs children can work miracles on a tablet!

They learn quicker, more easily and generally have more fun doing it when they have a device that they can touch and interact with.

I believe the number of apps on the iPad makes it the best choice but not the only choice. Any tablet would work.

If a school was given tablets, they could even hire developers to make what they need… since they could divert some funds from other supplies which would no longer be needed due to the tablets.

Please consider it

You’d be helping the special needs, helping the future and best of all, putting these devices to the best possible use they could ever have.

Don’t put them on a shelf where they’ll sit until you’re forced to drop the price again.

I’m not asking for me, I don’t need one. I’m asking for the community, for many communities… for the future.

Do something really great with this. It’s your moment to really shine.

 

If you work at or are involved with HP, thank you for reading.
If not, can you help me in getting this message to HP? I’d like for them to at least consider it. Thank you! 

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Teaching Children About Inclusion

By on December 26, 2010 in Autism

Starting a conversation with “Please don’t take this the wrong way” or “I hope this doesn’t upset you” doesn’t mean that you can then go on to be cruel, insensitive or intolerant.  It just means that really you know you are about to make a wrong decision but haven’t bothered to find an alternative.

Now it is likely that I am preaching to the choir.  I am not writing this for the other parents of children with special needs who have seen their children be politely excluded from play dates and apologetically not invited to birthday parties.  I am writing to those other parents.  The ones who seem to have forgotten that their job is to teach their childen about diversity, tolerance and problem solving skills.

So for those parents, let me make a few suggestions.

If your child says  “I don’t want Bobby coming to my party because I don’t want to worry about him acting weird”, try to find out what the actual concern is.  Is there a specific triggering behavior that you could prepare Bobby for?  Maybe you could suggest that Bobby’s mother stay nearby in case there is a problem.  Maybe you could remind your child that there will be plenty of other children at the party and not to focus on Bobby.  Maybe you could remind your child of the positive characteristics of Bobby and that the world is made up of all types of people.  We don’t have to like them all but we need to be tolerant of them.  If this is a child that you would otherwise invite, a family friend’s child, a neighbor or a classmate, then you should expect your child to include this one.  The best way to teach your child tolerance is to model it yourself.  Help them problem solve a way to make the party work for all the kids invited as well as your own guest if honor.

If your child says I don’t want to play with Sally anymore, again try to find out why.  Does your daughter think that Sally is boring, stupid, selfish, or some other characteristic that may be challenging because of Sally’s disability?  Help her to see that this behavior is not intended to be malicious but rather that Sally may need help learning to be a good friend.  Maybe you could suggest alternate activities that they could enjoy.  Try taking them to a neutral place such as a park or a movie.  Maybe in a new environment Sally might be interested in new ideas or  possibly in a neutral territory you could consider a situation where she doesn’t have to share.

Ultimately if you want your child to grow up being not only tolerant but inclusive then you need to expect that from the very beginning.  Don’t expect them to learn these values as adults if you haven’t encouraged it of them as children.

Here are a few more suggestions for encouraging tolerance and inclusion:

1.  Encourage your child to include children with disabilities, to play. If the child cannot play the same as other kids, come up with creative ways to accommodate the child’s challenges. Making up games can be lots of fun

2.  Teach the golden rule; Treat others the way you would want to be treated.

3.  Help your child find commonality — a hobby or interest — between him and this child with disabilities.

4.  Don’t label the child with special needs.  Referring to other child as “that child with hearing aids” or “the girl who stutters” only points out differences, issues that may not even concern your child.  Use “people first” language.

5.  Empower your child.  Let them know that they are allowed to feel safe and valued in a friendship as well.  They should not accept being physically or emotionally attacked by a child with special needs just because the child has a disability.  Nor should they feel like they always have to do what the other child wants if it is not a mutual choice.

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