Tag Archives | stereotypes

Labels – Try as we might, we can’t avoid them

By on May 14, 2012 in Autism

I know some people that purposely don’t seek out an autism diagnosis (or any medical diagnosis) for fear of the label that it will attach to themself or their child… a label that they will have to carry for life.

While I could go into quite the long winded argument about all of the ways that a diagnosis would help far more than it could ever hinder… instead, I’d like to focus on the label itself.

The Unavoidable

Anyone that has ever attended high school knows that you simply can not avoid getting some type of label in life. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do. Even the popular jocks get labels. See? They’re jocks!

They say that if you’re bisexual, you’re confused. If you’re gay, it’s a sin. If you’re fat, you look disgusting. If you’re dressed up, you’re conceited. If you dress for comfort, you’re a slob. If you speak you’re mind, you’re egotistical. If you don’t say anything, you’re rude. If you are nice to strangers, then you’re fake. If you cry, you’re a drama queen. If a female has male friends, she’s a whore. If a male has female friends, he’s a player. If you’re smart, you’re a nerd.

I could go on and on but essentially, the idea is, it doesn’t matter how big, small, tall, short, popular, unpopular, loud, quiet or anything else that you could possibly be… you’re going to get labelled.

It’s just how it goes.

label jars not peopleJudging a package by it’s label

The problem, I think, isn’t so much the label that we are given so much as the assumptions that are made based on that label.

For example.. if you see a woman with a lot of make up, physically fit, very tight and revealing clothing… many people would say “she’s a slut” and with one little word/thought, they assume they know her entire life story.

It becomes an even bigger problem when the label precedes you.  For example, going back to the high school reference, word travels fast so if you are really smart… people may start calling you a nerd, geek, poindexter… what ever they think will hurt most.. before they’ve even met you.

They can’t possibly know if you’re smart just by seeing you enter a room or walk down the hall but because friends talk to friends… people have already placed a label on you and prepared an entire method of dealing with you before having actually seen you.

This is a very shallow way of living, it’s not fair and it’s very close minded… but we all do it. At least to some extent. When we hear about another parent who behaves one way or another, talks a certain way, believes a certain thing… we’ve already made assumptions and possibly even decided if we’ll like them or not before we ever say hello.

Nicknames are just labels that we approve of

Sometimes, when we get a label based on the way we actually are… as given to us by friends… we don’t mind them. Sometimes they even evolve into nicknames that we live with for many years.

They’re still labels.

But they’re not so bad because they’re not based on assumption, they’re based on our actual personalities or quirks. Sometimes we still don’t like them but sometimes we don’t mind.

Special needs labels

Labels associated with special needs are very rarely welcome ones because they are almost always based on assumptions, misinformation and stereotypes.

When someone uses the r-word in association with autism, I take that very personally because neither myself nor my son fit that definition. No autistics do unless they also have a separate diagnosis for exactly that.

See, if you were to call my son very particular or picky… I’d probably chuckle and agree with you.

It’s still a label.

But it’s one based on getting to know him and what he’s like.

Not all autistics are all that picky. Take me for example. I’m very go with the flow, not caring too much what others want to do as I can do it too, I eat just about anything… my son is the total opposite.

Labels don’t always hurt. Sometimes they are born of familiarity and if welcome by the individual… are acceptable.

One on one, when accepted, labels are ok.

Never any other time.

When made by a group, against a group, based on assumption, rumour or “information”… labels are not ok.

I leave you with this… from the man who played the ninth doctor in Dr. Who.

Doctor Who

Click for Full Size

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An attempt to make “autistic” into the new r-word

By on March 16, 2012 in Autism

If you are in the autism community in some form or another, chances are that you’ve already heard all about the uproar surrounding the new 21 Jump Street movie… if not, keep reading.

So 21 Jump Street was a rather popular television show back in the day, in fact, it launched the career of several people including Johnny Depp.. and one other person quite well known within the autism community, Holly R. Peete.

Now, they’re making a movie by the same name but instead of teenage angst, real life, drama and emotion, it’s a ridiculously stupid comedy filled with cheap laughs.

Don’t get me wrong, I happen to love stupid comedies. I laugh even at cheap laughs.

The problem is that in one particular trailer, the one guy looks at a chart that his officers made and says “That looks like s#!t. What are you, autistic?”

Enter the uproar.

You can see it for yourself, it happens around the 3:31 mark:

?t=3m31s

At this point, I want you to re-watch it and this time, imagine he’s saying the word “retarded” in place of autistic. See now what their intention was?

This is simply not ok. This is simply wrong.

There’s many reasons, but let’s look at two of them:

First of all, anyone who knows anything about autistics knows that, while not all autistics are super organized or particularly amazing at building charts… if you were going to go by the stereotype, as is the intention here, you’d expect that thing to be freakin immaculate. Let me put it this way, if they are going for the whole rain man of over the top stereotypical, stupidly, outrageously funny offensive things to say about autistics, that thing would have been the best damn chart anyone has ever seen.

So ya, they clearly don’t even know what they’re talking about if they can’t get the stereotype right… not that it would have been right either but certainly closer to some semblance of reality.

Secondly, this opens a door that starts a journey down a very dark road. Stereotypes, innuendo and hate in general don’t start out at full force… it starts small.

And if this is the type of precedent they’re trying to set for stereotypical movie humour about autism… let’s just say that none of us would want to see where that road will lead.

I’m all for overly exhagerated stereotypes in search of a laugh… I’m all for the extremely over done ridiculousness of what is real in an attempt to get a chuckle… but this is not ok.

For the record, Holly R. Peete, who makes a cameo in the new movie, has said that she had read the script in advance and that line was not in there at the time.

On Twitter, she said:

So thrilled that #21Jumpstreet is getting such critical acclaim- The show brand means everything to me-so proud to an OG but as a mom of a son w/ autism I’d be totally disingenuous to say I was not bothered by the use of the word “autistic” in the film. I’ve reached out to Sony PR & co-director Phil Lords re:why the choice of “autistic” as a punchline is so upsetting to our community.
Phil Lord co-director of #21Jumpstreet said re: “autistic” line: “We set out to make a funny, irreverent & outrageous movie but not to hurt anyone’s feelings. Our stars are the butt of all our jokes and we feel terrible and deeply sorry that anyone would feel otherwise.”

You can read the tweets here:

https://twitter.com/#!/hollyrpeete/status/180375413527298049
https://twitter.com/#!/hollyrpeete/status/180376189796487168
https://twitter.com/#!/hollyrpeete/status/180383033591992321

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The problem with the expression “Different, Not Less”

By on April 26, 2011 in Autism

When I saw the Temple Grandin, HBO movie, I, like many other people, quickly adopted the phrase “Different, Not Less.” It’s such a powerful statement.

Completing the spectrum

Completing the Spectrum

If you’ve followed this blog for any solid amount of time, or followed me on Twitter or Facebook, you know that I’m a rather large endorser of understanding and acceptance… the idea that those with Autism can be better served by taking the time to understand them and the spectrum of Autism itself.

Early on, as I tried to piece together all of my thoughts and ideas into this “Understanding and Acceptance” campaign that has really taken off, I began to realize that there is an inherent danger in trying to “normalize” Autism too much.

Different is not special

The danger is this… different doesn’t get insurance coverage. Different doesn’t get sensory friendly movie times. Different doesn’t get services until they’re 18, much less into their adult years.

I recently wrote about the pitfalls in defining Autism which touched on this, as some parents tried to persuade me that “disorder” was too negative to use and that we should find a kinder word.

It really bothered me that these parents were essentially hindering their own chances at getting the help they so desperately needed.

Backlash against PBS and Autism Now

I’ve been reading on Twitter how some people are quite upset at the statements made during the six part series and understandably so, some statements were a tad harsh.

But at the same time, we’re trying to get the world to wake up, stand up and take notice. Not just of how great people are even though they have Autism, but also, of just how hard it can be.

Let’s be honest, a 6 part series on Autism that paints everyone as a savant, or perfectly capable independent functional part of society… won’t do much to raise proper awareness and certainly won’t go very far in helping us parents explain to other people in the grocery store why our child is having a meltdown.

It might not have painted a very pretty picture, but it wasn’t a false picture either. It just wasn’t “all encompassing” of the entire spectrum.

The Talk and Holly Robinson Peete

The Talk did a wonderful series on Autism itself, a 4 part series, airing on each Friday of the month of April. This was a very real and very honest look at Autism as well but it painted it in a nicer picture… certainly not as dark and dreary anyway.

I haven’t found much of a backlash about it, no one seemed to be upset. Which is kind of funny I guess, because I half expected that perhaps folks with severely low functioning children might.

But those people probably just felt more left out than anything, nothing really to get furious about and certainly not worth writing articles and filling up Twitter time lines about.

Personally, I like to think of The Talk’s series as a nice Yin to PBS’s Yang… if one series can’t possibly cover all sides of the Autism story completely on it’s own, then why can’t two series split the task?

The Whitehouse calls it combat

Now, if the PBS series had upset you, then how do you feel about the Whitehouse’s plan to reauthorize the “Combatting Autism Act”? Is it really war they think they’re heading into?

The legislation, first passed in 2006, tremendously expanded federal funding for autism, allocating millions of dollars to improve diagnosis, treatment and research of autism spectrum disorders.

Really, that doesn’t sound so bad… so as a suggestion to President Obama, consider changing it’s name. Please.

Conclusion

Parents and even those with Autism that are higher functioning, Aspergers for example, are trying to fast and too hard to push passed understanding and going straight into acceptance.

There’s a very real danger in doing that… those laws won’t be reauthorized, the insurance agencies will not cover any therapies or treatments and there will be no more services out there for you.

I’m not saying that there is not a need for acceptance, there is. More of it… lots more of it. However, it has to be done properly and in due course. First, there needs to be understanding.

Understanding is what makes the system work for you, not against you. People need to be aware of the stereotypes, people need to be aware of the really bad stories… because as much as we might not like how bad of a “picture it paints”, it’s not untrue.

We can’t hide away the bad stuff in an effort to force everyone to accept people with Autism as just a little different. That simply will not work.

Don’t try to call it something else. It’s a disorder. It really is, even if it sounds negative. Don’t try to hide away the stereo types of those not as fortunate as yourself…. those people need to be seen and heard, even if it’s not an accurate representation of what is in your life.

My son, Cameron, is doing just fine and I have no reason to doubt his future at all. But I’ll never sugar coat Autism just so that people will have a warmer and fuzzier feeling about it. No, what he has is a disorder… because so long as I believe it and everyone else believes it, the help that we need will be there.

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Deconstructing stereotypes

By on November 20, 2010 in Autism

Whether it was the first day of class, first day at a new job, or for any other of the multitude of appointments I’ve had so far in my life, I have always been asked some variation of the following question regarding my last name (Tecpanecatl): “What is that?” My personal favorites were the few times someone looked at me with raised eyebrows and came right out with “What are you?” I don’t believe they intended to be derogatory but that particular question did not deserve a response. Since the name is unnatural to them, they could not help but feed their curiosity with what appeared to be an innocent question. Confused by something new and because they had no point of reference in their mind, they looked for information in order to place me in a cultural or ethnic group familiar to them. Just about everyone feels comfortable when they are able to place people and actions in separate and distinct categories. We have been taught that our actions should meet certain expectations and behavior is strictly monitored from birth. This has created and maintained stereotypes that ostracize anyone that doesn’t fit neatly into any specific category. This pattern of thinking bothers me and I feel it is an obstacle that all autism parents and advocates face on a daily basis.

My oldest son is an adorable and loving 4 year old with autism whose behavior would be considered quirky by those unfamiliar with developmental disabilities. If my name is enough to temporarily throw someone off than I imagine an encounter with my son would turn their world upside down. Telling someone he has autism does not sufficiently explain his behavior. When we are out in public I can see the questions in their stares as my son has a meltdown or starts talking to himself with a type of speech that is not understandable to them. They seem to be thinking to themselves “What is that? What’s wrong with him?” I see their responses and have come to realize that just because more people have heard of autism does not mean they care enough to learn about how it affects a person’s life. Just because my son may not do things the same as other kids does not mean you have the right to judge him or his parents. If people took the time to learn anything about autism and developmental disabilities they would understand why my son may not answer your question (his limited speech prevents any type of conversation), why he refuses to eat certain foods, why he is unable to tolerate haircuts or doctor visits and why he obsessively repeats phrases he hears on TV. These are only a few examples of how someone may label him ‘odd’ without really knowing anything about him. I encourage everyone to spend some time researching autism and its effect on the individual’s development. I read and write about autism because it directly affects my life and also with the hope that we can begin to deconstruct stereotypes that are harmful to those labeled as different. The next time you or someone you encounter falls back on an old stereotype, think about who benefits from that train of thought and most importantly who it is hurting.

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