Tag Archives | parents

Parents are now forcing their children a bleach enema to “cure” their autism

By on May 31, 2012 in Autism

In a mystifying case of “What the hell is going on?!?!?”, some parents are now taking to bleach as a cure… forcing their children to have a bleach enema to clean the autism out of their system.

I’m not the best at getting into the nitty gritty details and besides, these two sources handle it far better than I can. So if you have the stomach for it, check out these links and read about MMS or “Miracle Mineral Solution”:

Bleaching away what ails you
MMS, or how to cure autism with bleach. Brought to you by AutismOne

Please be sure you read those, or at least, some of those articles, before proceeding.

bleachSo very wrong

How in the world can a person go from “trace amounts of toxins in vaccines, too small to see, are harming our children” to “here honey, let’s put this stuff in you that CAN KILL YOU!”?

I just can’t fathom this way of thinking. I mean, how desperate can a person be to forcefully make their child sick? I mean, there’s a good risk of outright killing the child and yet this is somehow worth curing autism?

How badly must a person hate their child that they force them to drink bleach?

Please please please PLEASE don’t ever have bleach anywhere near your child! It doesn’t matter who tells you try it… just don’t!

Abuse is abuse

A recent news article surfaced in which two people kept their two children in a caged room, without clothing or anything, for up to 16 hours a day.. and they were charged for it. They were found not guilty in the end, but a LOT of people felt that it was abuse.

There are many more cases like this, such as a school that placed a boy in a box for several hours because he was pacing and not listening to his teacher.

People scream “This is cruelty!! This is abuse!!”

Then, some of these people turn around and give their child a bleach enema??

I just don’t get it because to me, forcing this bleach thing is far worse than putting them in a cage. It’s much more a form of abuse since it does them physical harm (not to diminish the effects of psychological harm done by imprisonment).

I just don’t get it

Anyway, I just don’t get how a parent can get mad at doctors for putting harmful substances into their child and then put something so very obviously dangerous into their child themselves.

I also don’t get how a parent can hate the hurtful things that others do to their children and then turn around and force bleach into their child, something that can kill them.

I also don’t get how this is legal. I don’t get how these people aren’t being arrested for this. Is it because a doctor told them to do it? Does that make it ok?

Because I don’t think it does. I don’t think it matters who tells you to do it, putting bleach into a child is wrong.

If I saw a parent doing that to their child, I’d call child services on them immediately and demand that the child be removed from their care.

I’d also be phoning the police.

I don’t care what doctor told them it’s ok to do it.

That’s just how I am.

I just don’t get it.

Comments { 8 }

Visiting family – One year later

By on May 29, 2012 in Autism

We made the decision to move pretty far away from my family before Cameron was old enough to start school, in an effort to get him into a school that would suit his needs rather than force him to conform to the needs of a school around here.

It was a big move as it meant separating my children, and myself, from my family. It’s an 8 hour drive so it’s not so far that we never see them but it’s far enough. Plus with extreme weather conditions where we moved, we basically only get to see my family once a year.

A year isn’t really much to me or my aunts, uncles or my mom… because we’re all adults. But to a child that is only 6, or 4, as is the case with Cameron’s little brother Tyler, a year can make a huge difference.

There’s extra inches, there’s maturity in their face, a wider vocabulary, a better sense of humour and in the case of a child with autism, like Cameron, there’s progress.

Yes, Cameron is taller and smarter now but it’s the fact that he’s willing to actually talk to people that really shocked my family. Not just talk but have real conversations.

That’s thanks to the hard work of his great teachers at the school, his therapist, our own hard work at home and of course, Cameron’s very hard work to be willing to put in the effort to try. If he didn’t want to, and I’m sure a big part of him did, he could have just shy’d away and refused to talk to them. But he didn’t, at least, most of the time anyway.

More so than that was his need to get changed in the bathrooms, not wanting anyone to see him naked. At 6, this probably should have happened earlier but as a child with autism that is not overly fond of wearing clothes as it is… it’s really a very big deal.

It’s very gratifying, as selfish as that is, because it justifies, at least to me, our decision to take our family so far away. And my family sees that and understands our decision. They understand why it is that they now only see us all once a year. I mean, they understood the decision when we made it but now we have results.

And I’m proud too. Not of my decision or of myself but I’m proud of my son. I’m proud of Cameron for making that effort to talk to people and even play with them sometimes. To get off the couch and go outside to play with the other kids a couple of times.

I’m proud of him for making so much great progress so that when we do see my family, he can impress and even amaze them.

Not every parent is able to pick up and move and certainly, not every parent sees these kinds of results from year to year… so I’m so much more grateful than any words I write here could convey.

Comments { 1 }

When one child’s autism influences another child’s autism

By on March 28, 2012 in Autism

For the most part, ABA therapy and other such systems separate the child from the world for some one on one coaching… one therapist, one child.

In many ways, this is not a very good practice when the child is having difficulty coping with social situations and they’re essentially removed from any and all social situations. It’s like trying to help a child play the piano without giving them a piano.

Still though, at the same time… there is some benefit to this. We all know how kids are, with or without autism… the phrase “monkey see, monkey do” comes to mind. Children (and certainly most adults too) are heavily influenced by their peers. When they see someone behave a certain way in a certain situation, they believe that it’s just how it is supposed to be and so they behave the same.

influenceSchool

My child is in a special school with classes dedicated to autistic children. There are now 5 classes, most around the 5-6 kids size. Which again, like ABA, has some great benefits which I love but then it also has a few problems.

Now, to be clear, these are essentially the same problems that are found in every classroom, it’s just that these can be amplified when autism is involved.

When you put 5 or 6 children together in a classroom, you find that the children will range in behaviors quite radically. Some children are completely obsessive/compulsive in certain objects or mannerisms while others seem to be all over the place. Some children are quite vocal (you know, the never stop talking kind) while others struggle to string words together at all.

In these types of situations, as you can imagine, the “monkey see, monkey do” world of peer influence can be both encouraging and discouraging.

What you find is that some parents love such a positive place where their struggling children can learn the better behaviors of his/her peers while other parents fear that their children will pick up the unwanted/not desired behaviors of some of the other children.

Friends

That’s just school… the same holds true with friends. And this is where things can get… uhmm… sticky?

As a parent of a child with special needs, we all wish for nothing more than for other parents and their children to look passed those needs and just be friends for the sake of being friends. Have play dates, birthday parties… have fun together.

You have to understand that their child, whether they have autism or not, may pick up some behaviors that may be unwanted in their house. That quirky, “it’s just an autism thing”, behavior that you tell your friend that you get used to… might not be something that they want to get used to. And they’ll be sitting there hoping upon hope that their child doesn’t pick it up from yours. They’re not afraid of autism being contagious or anything… it’s just that they know that kids will be kids.

This divide (if you can call it that) even exists in the autism community, I have found. Let’s say that you have a child that is integrating well, learning and desiring to be social and their future looks promising… and then a fellow parent in the community invites you and your child over for a play date or birthday party or something because they don’t have a lot of options, they don’t have a lot of friends and they’re hoping you and your child will be there, because you’re both in the autism community… but their child isn’t coping so well. They are easily angered, aggressive, have mannerisms or behaviors that you hope your child does not pick up…  suddenly, you’re “the other parent” that I had just described in the previous paragraph.

You’re both in the autism community so you should be far more understanding and willing to go ahead and do it but at the same time, because your child does have autism, you know they’re far more likely to pick up those behaviors and mannerisms than a child without autism would.

You find yourself understanding why other parents whose children don’t have autism are reluctant to allow their kids to play with yours… because you find yourself being in the exact same situation.

Suddenly ABA isn’t looking so bad huh?

Peers

We can’t shelter ourselves from our peers anymore than we can shelter our children from theirs. Ultimately, bad behaviors are out there and we’ve picked up some from others and our kids will most definitely pick some up from other kids.

It sure is hard though… seeing your child do something at home that you don’t like when you saw some other kid do earlier.

Autism makes it especially hard… when you see your child being that “bad influence” for others and at the same time being very likely to pick up those bad behaviors from other “bad influences”.

I use quotes because most kids aren’t bad influences. They just have some behaviors that you do not desire for your own kids to have.

Ultimately it’s up to each of us to decide what is best for our children, what will and won’t be a good influence on them. But it sure is easier to ask other people to be understanding of our unwanted behaviors than it is for us to be understanding of theirs.

Be careful what you wish for

It’s funny, those of us who have children that don’t speak for a long time… we wish and wish and wish for them to find their voice. Then they do. Then a few years later we’re telling them to stop talking all the way through a movie, or to stop talking and eat or… just to stop for a minute!

Being social is the same, in a way. Autism is classified in the way it makes being social so difficult.. and so we wish and wish and wish that our children can be more social and go to play dates and birthday parties… and then when it happens, we fear the influence!

How can we wish for something so bad… and then not want it again so quickly? Is that what we wished for? Were we unaware of the issues that would come with our wish or were we more than willing to accept those issues if only our wishes could be answered?

Because it seems to me that it’s easy to forget about not caring about the issues when the issues would be a welcome problem to have… that doesn’t diminish the problem though.

We still want our kids to stop talking all the way through dinner or the movie we’re watching. And we still want our children to be around positive influences more than negative ones.

But at the same time, we can’t forget the alternative… we can’t forget all of those out there who still haven’t gotten their wish.

So many people would love to have their children ruin their movie by talking through it… because it would mean that they’re talking. So many people would love to have to worry about what bad behaviors they might pick up from other kids at a birthday party…  because it would mean they’d be at a birthday party!

When something seems like a problem… don’t think “be careful what you wish for” and don’t think “monkey see, monkey do”….  instead, think of another old cliche….  take nothing for granted.

So I think, and this is just my opinion, that sometimes a problem is a good problem to have. Because not having that problem can be so much worse. So keep the big picture in mind when you make these decisions… as I said, it doesn’t diminish the issue but perhaps it will give you a new perspective.

Besides, despite this whole article… not all influences are bad influences. There could be some good things picked up along the way!

Comments { 1 }

Different Kinds of Special [Review]

By on January 23, 2012 in Autism

I received the book “Different Kinds of Special” this week, written by author and poet Donna Carol Koffman. She is the grandmother of a little boy named Reese that has autism and it is for him that she writes this… or at least, he was the inspiration.

As the description says: “In this book, Donna gives Reese a voice to teach young children empathic understanding, acceptance and inclusion.”

Also, an interesting bit of trivia for those of you that have or get this book… the illustrations are done by Breanne Biggar but, one page, where the children are drawing on a sidewalk, you will see the wonderful art work of a young man named Devin, who has Aspergers. He was 6 when he made those drawings and you can read a bit about him at the back of the book.

different kinds of specialThe Book

The book is about a bunch of children all going to the park to play… but none of the children are the same as each other. This book explains very simply yet very clearly just how different each person can be from each other. Starting with the obvious, such as hair colour, height, weight and so forth, the book eventually gets into more distinct differences such as how some people are unable to walk (wheelchair) or communicate (talk)

The Story

While there really isn’t much of a story, it does take you along on a bit of a journey through the park. It’s kind of like people watching, but for children. As you go through it, you really feel like a child standing there while your mom or dad talks to you about what you see. And that’s how I felt, and I’m a dad. To invoke that kind of feeling in a reader means that the message is being delivered very well.

My Review

I read the book by myself while my wife read the book with my son Cameron. So I’ll give you an idea of what we both think.

For me, I found it quite intriguing that autism is never actually mentioned. It’s also quite brilliant, in that it’s just another one way that everyone is different. So rather than single out any specific disorder or ailment, you’re left to fill in the blanks as you read about those that can not speak, see, hear, walk and so on. These children on the pages all have different strengths, weakness, colours, sizes…  and they all have smiles.

I can picture my son in those illustrations just as I can picture other children that I’ve met through my life or that I know right now. They can all fit into these pages.

More so than that, I can see myself in many of the pages. As you read about how some children are shy, some aren’t, some don’t like to do some things, other do…  and some children cry because of how hard it is to make other people understand them… you get it. Both as having memories of that but also in understanding where her grandson as well as our own children are coming from.

My wife said:

The book gave a good sense of accepting those who have differences and allowed Cameron the opportunity to look passed himself and see others and accept and want to help them. We were able to talk about the book and explore ways to make people in our lives feel more welcome and loved even though they have differences. 

Together, we both felt the only criticism we could make is that it’s a bit of a dry read, in that there is no story and comparing differences makes for a bit of repetition. Our four year old lost interest half way through. Cameron, however, did not.

But it was never meant to be a story and no one will ever fault a four year old for not grasping the differences of all people. So while it may not make the best bedtime book ever, it does make for a wonderful story time book that really helps to reinforce acceptance within us all.

If more people read this book to their children, there would be far less bullying in the world.

You can buy Different Kinds of Special from Amazon.com for just $19.95 in paperback and read more about the book at http://lostforwordspress.com/

Comments { 2 }

Know your child is how you want your child to be

By on January 20, 2012 in Autism

Whether you feel that Autism needs to be cured or not, we’ve all had that moment where we thought our newly diagnosed child was doomed to a complicated struggle of a life and that they will never amount to what others see as average, much less the lofty goals and dreams we had before the diagnosis.

There is certainly nothing wrong with this, it is natural. It is a scary thing to have happen to you and to your child.

Less than perfect

For many people, that feeling of disappointment and fear of the future passes. Maybe not entirely, but for the most part. They learn to accept that their child is how they are and that they’re perfectly wonderful just the way they are. It’s certainly not without it’s struggles but parents take each day as they are and love their child unconditionally… no matter what.

Then there are those parents who hold on to that disappointment and will always fear the future. They see their children as damaged or defective and seek vengeance (or justice) on those who are responsible. They will never accept that their child was meant to be how they are.. and who they were meant to be was robbed from them.

I don’t know who is right and I don’t know who is wrong, I don’t know if there is a villain to bring to justice… but what I do know is that no child should ever feel that their parent sees them as less than perfect… much less broken or defective.

Few exceptions

Even a child that does not speak, does not engage their parents, does not play and has all the other “severe” indications of “low functioning” autism can sometimes surprise us. The right tool, device or incentive can help some of these people “find their voice” and show the world what they’re truly made of.

It makes many people think that a lot of autistics have it within them to do this. You, and they, just have to find a way.

If true (which I believe it likely is, at least for some), then the things you say, do and even think will be picked up and even understood by your child. Even more so if your child is able to express themselves and communicate better.

Even if you try to hide it, if you truly believe that your child is broken or defective, it will affect your child. Perhaps the parent is a little less affectionate, perhaps they’re a little less encouraging… these things will resonate with your child. It may be on some subconscious level or it may just be a hint of self doubt that lives within them into adulthood.

Few children are able to excel despite a parent’s disapproval, few children are able to truly be self confident when their own parents do not believe in them first. Some children can overcome that but doesn’t a child with autism have enough to overcome already?

perfection

Unconditional love

I’m not saying that you are wrong if you fight for a cure, I’m not saying you’re wrong if you are fighting to put a stop to what ever you believe is the cause of autism… what I am asking for is… please stop seeing your child as broken.

Accepting your child for who they are, right now, right in front of you… it does not mean giving up. It certainly doesn’t mean you don’t care. All it means is that you love your child, through and through, 100%, no matter what.

Know that your child is perfect, know that your child is who they are and encourage them to always be themselves. Know it.

Don’t just think it and don’t just make it something you say so that you can feel better about yourself for making them feel better about themself… you need to believe it. You need to know it.

This is your child and your child deserves that much from you.

Once you believe it, the real miracles start to happen.

Comments { 2 }